Professional writer for Uproxx.com, GammaSquad.com, Guyspeak.com, Guyism.com, Zug.com, and innumerable other sites. He writes the Internet, basically.
Dan Seitz
Drug Courier Loses $20,000, Asks Tucson Police For Excuse Note
Granted, losing $20,000 of a drug cartel's money is fairly panic inducing. That said, you do have to wonder what Demarco Alonzo Thomas was thinking when he called the police for a note excusing him from delivering $20,000.
Seth MacFarlane To Woo Marge On The Simpsons
It's an old joke that there's one half-hour on Sunday Seth McFarlane hasn't been on. And now that he's going to be on The Simpsons, it's officially an inaccurate joke.
Bazooka Joe Getting The Boot From His Gum
After almost sixty years, Bazooka Joe is being put out to pasture: The bubble gum will no longer feature the little comic strips that pretty much defined the brand.
This Was Not The NFL’s Best Thanksgiving
This Thanksgiving was kind of a disaster for pro football fans. Fans of the Jets could only watch in horror as their beloved team gave up three touchdowns in about a minute of game time.
On the other hand, at least it wasn't the Lions/Texans game, where infamous quarterback Ndamukong Suh, who last year allegedly stomped on a Green Bay Packers player, went one better and kicked the Houston Texans'
Pranksters Dress As Target Employees On Black Friday
Black Friday is infamous among retail personnel for bringing out the absolute worst in people. Customers are rude, self-centered, and obnoxious. So the guys at Prank Vs. Prank struck back for the employee, dressing up as employees of a certain retail establishment and offering "help"...
Naked Man Rides London Statue For Three Hours
As Randy Newman warned us years ago, you should beware of the naked man. In London, they should beware of THIS naked man, who decided to ride a statue in the London chill.
Hang On, Sloopy The Chihuahua, You’ll Get That Food Eventually
Thanksgiving is a wonderful holiday for dogs. Lots of human food, lots of stuffed, sleepy people, and lots of attention. But sometimes you have to work to get your treat, and Sloopy the Chihuahua is no exception. But you have to admit, as attention hunting goes, this is pretty great...
Kenan Wants Nothing To Do With Kel
Kenan and Kel were a beloved comedy team in the late '90s and early 2000s, and went their separate ways about ten years ago. Since then, they've both had solid careers as respected character actors, even if Kenan has been the slightly more successful of the two with his Saturday Night Live work and film appearances.
Unfortunately, Kenan's success apparently means he wants nothing to do with Kel.
Here’s A Black Friday Stampede To Make You Glad You Didn’t Leave The House
Here's the Saturday-after-Thanksgiving tradition: a smartphone video of a Black Friday riot. This is in Moultrie, GA, and the swarms of people are grabbing cheap pay-as-you-go smartphones. But it's not the only shame to be happening, as the clip you've seen elsewhere isn't legit.
Homer’s Last Peanut Recreated In Clay
"The Last Peanut" is widely considered one of the classic bits from "The Simpsons". It comes from the fifth season, and it is hilarious. Doubly so when rendered in clay, so enjoy. Maybe watch it with a few peanuts!